Psalm 63

"A Psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah"

Sometimes, life happens--and when people say that, I used to roll my eyes. Really? Life happens? That sounds like something adults say because it sounds adultish and cryptic. But then something happened sometime recently, something that caught me off guard, I...became an adult. When did this happen? I found myself in the midst of adult stress, like, big people stuff. And then, I'm having a baby?? (for the record, I know how this one happened :] ). 

Here's some things that happen when you become an adult, in case no one told you: you start thinking (shhh, I actually mean worrying) about money; you see people you love who are close to you make decisions that could be dangerous, or at least unwise, and carry a burden for it; when you consider your own decisions, you have to now consider other people, for instance--your son; you see your husband stress over being the head of the household, mulling over his God-given responsibility and authority, and you the things you can do don't seem near special enough to help his cause. 

This only names a few "adult stresses"--so lets get to the point. This can make one feel a little bit desperate and without control. Today, I'm cautiously grateful for times like these, as they take away the false reality that I create for myself, a false reality where I actually THINK I'm in control. The truth is God is in control--and this is so liberating, it frees me from the stress of trying to fix things that only God can, and Will. With that said, I've been reading through the Psalms--David was in some pretty desperate places and situations, and his love for the Lord pours out in the words he writes in his Psalms. Today's was Psalm 63--with one particularly halting moment....verse 3. 

"3 Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you"

I'll say it again, life happens. But as David is certain--God's steadfast love is better than life. And solely because of that, my lips will praise Him. 

Blank Slate

I've been thinking a lot lately about why I haven't blogged since I signed us up a billion months ago when I "announced" we were expecting Aaron (who's still chilling in-utero, btw). I realized yesterday why--I'm intimidated.  Here's why: there's a blank slate, our blog, and I need to define it. This, for some silly reason, is a little overwhelming. How do I want to use this? What do I want to write about? How often? Should it just be fun stuff, our family trips, Aaron's first crawl or steps, his first words, maybe a million posts on how cute and perfect he is? Do I talk about what Christ is doing in my life? Where he's moving me? CAN it be both? More? 

In the face of an undefined blog, with a small number of people who read at this point, my strategy was to avoid it. I think, though, maybe I'm not going to do that now. I think it can evolve as I do, I can talk about Aaron, our family trips, and how Christ is molding Nick and me because that's all one thing really. God isn't just one part of our lives, he's all of it. He's involved in our family trips, he's certainly involved in Aaron, and how we will parent and the reason we take joy in our day-to-day and on and on and on. 

Lately, I've been so easily frustrated by little things--and this is frustrating. I realize the hormones in my body make me more suceptible to emotions that I don't enjoy, but it's really difficult being frustrated all the time towards things and people that do not deserve those feelings. The up-side to this has been abundantly clear to me though: my emotions are fallen, and Christ gives me freedom from this. More than ever, I've turned to God in prayer in times when my emotions lead me into a place that will be sin for me, and Praise Him for the freedom I've found there. It's abundant, real, constant, and never late or absent. I pray that as my pregnancy ends, and my emotions fall back into a still-fallen steadiness, I can continue to lean on Christ for all my needs--as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. 

I'm thankful for:

• Our friends, who love us
• Our sweet son, who already teaches us many lessons about life
• The situations in our life that point us to Christ--they point out my need for him to take control so I don't mess them up
• God's mercies, which are new each morning
• Jon Acuff (weird I know) who's emphasis on "the Prodigal Son" has impacted me immensely
• My husband, Nick, who's patience and love is unmatched by any other man, and only points me to a Father whose patience and love is unmatched by Any.